The beginning of the year started with the remaining suicidal thoughts
In time, it has gotten better.
Although there were still some breakdown points, yet tolerable enough to make it through until the end.
If you ever get hurts so bad to the point of thinking suicide is the only way out, I am so sorry to hear that.
Remember that the world will not be the same without you. There is someone out there who loves you in silence. It may be difficult to believe, but I am certain there is someone in this world who does. Think about it. There are over 7 billion people on this planet. What makes you think no one out of this great number loves you? You are your own unique, beautiful chaos. It is definitely heartbreaking that you think you are nothing. Don’t listen to those dark thoughts inside your head. Learn to let go of the negativity. Life is too short already, so don’t shorten it even further. I know it is tough. I know it is easier said than done, but trust me, please don’t ever think of taking your own life is the only way out. Please hang in there. You are gorgeous. You are enough. You are important. Your existence matters a lot. There is still hope as long as you don’t give up on yourself. For now, this is just an obstacle and you can get through this. Back in the day, when I was lost in the dark, I came across a phrase in this book that said, “Nothing lasts forever, not even the worst thing.” I hope you too can find a glimmer of light in your own darkness. Tomorrow will come. Life gets hard. But you can also become stronger after this experience. I don’t want to wake up the next day and see that you passed. Let’s see the next sunrise together.
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist. I am just somebody who see the world from different angles. I may or may not experience this kind of thing first hand. I just hope my writing makes somebody out there feel better. If you are really in a tough spot of mind, please get help as soon as possible. A therapist is really the way to go, in my opinion. Professional help is crucial. And, I wish you the best in life. x