Life is strange.
Is it just me or is there someone out there who feels the same as me? There is probably only one person in this world whom I feel like I can be at most 97% of myself around them. I can just speak my mind freely and you know I don’t feel like my energy just got sucked out entirely from my soul because I just can’t be around others without getting exhausted in an hour. (And, that person left my life a long time ago, so no big deal. I just have to pretend to be a normal person in front of every passerby I meet.) Anyway, I just want to know that there is another living being out there who understands what I am talking about here.
I want to feel validated by the fact that I am more than just this piece of brain with a lot of untold stories within me that no one cares about to listen to them because of the mental issue that I prescribed myself to. Yeah, sometimes I feel like I have more than anxiety honestly.
What I want to say is probably that it is finally Autumn again and around this time last year was when I finally felt happy again for a short period after being down for quite some time. I never expected to be able to brighten up and find out that the universe has its way of healing us. The lesson was that if something feels right, just go for it. Life is about finding your own happiness. If you don’t fight for yourself, even God cannot save you. Even though some happiness is only temporary, it is worth a shot.
Actually, there are other reasons why I am so into Autumn, especially during November. One time, it was the saddest period of my life. Then, it was the happiest of the year. And now? I don’t know. We’ll see what this Autumn brings. If it turns out to be just a dull season, then I can’t help it. My heart will sink a bit, maybe.
The thing is that every single one of us has our own untold chapter in life. To be able to open up to some random stranger on this planet is no easy thing to do. What level of bravery do you need to have to be able to do so? The silver lining is the Internet. Just create an anonymous account and share with the world is one way to do it. Then, you just cross your fingers that no one will ever find out your identity. We all just want to be understood and not be judged. Society sure loves spitting out their opinions, am I right? Aha! We are no better than the ugly reality either. Instead of getting our own seal of approval, we seek from others who barely even know us. It can’t be helped when we do not know ourselves that much as well. We are all learning about who we truly are which is understandable. We are just a work in progress. That’s what I like to use as an excuse.