It may sound harsh to people judging by the title of this blog post, but I have my own reasons.
I am neglecting everything in life at the moment including this blog, my internship, my future plan, you know basically everything indeed. It is easy to tell yourself to be productive and not wasting life, however, if you do not know what you want to do or like, it is not a piece of cake.
It has been a long time since I am writing from a coffee shop since my exchange program abroad. Window view while it is raining outdoor, where the inspiration for writing is flowing to you with ease. One ingredient is missing though. The language I do not understand because it was the start of sculpting myself from a blank canvas as no one knows my name. I mean sure no one here in this cafe knows who the heck I am since I am not a celebrity or anyone important enough to be recognized. Nevertheless, everyone is speaking the language I understand or my origin if you would say. Running away is my talent when life gets bored or rough. I just enjoy the feeling of a fresh start. A very clean beginning. The problem is when I get lonely. Like I said a long time ago, that human is a social creature. We crave connection despite how introverted you are, we all require social interaction to get by. As an introvert, we make dumb mistakes when we emptied our “extrovert energy”. Or it is just me because I am awkward like no others. Therefore, when I feel like I have someone to go to, I will go to them. Additionally, it kinds of feel clingy. I did not realize that at the time, no, since I thought hey I was far away from home. You knew that as well. Looking back now, it was stupid.
While trying to find the silver lining, all I could see is the beautiful scenery of the autumn season. Nothing more, nothing less. Life is short and stupid mistakes are what we will look back in the old age and laugh at them. I am still young and there are years to come for me to encounter more dumb things. Although, I try to remind myself not to get carried away because tomorrow is not promising. And that is when I am grateful for this platform. I have a document of myself, so people can get to know and relate (maybe). Maybe my family is able to get to know me better on here. Maybe they don’t understand. Who knows? It is possible that I am just imagining things as I have watched way too many dramas and read too many books that I somehow see the world from the fantasy perspective.
Let’s be honest here. There are nights when we could not fall asleep because our brains show us all the embarrassing flashback and we are mortified for the whole night to death. Well, that is beautiful surely. The thing is it is life after all. That is how life is. Sweet, salty, spicy, bitter, and all the good ingredients you can think of. There is no point in dreading over these memories.
Tell me something about the events in your life that comes into your mind while reading this in the comment section below. I’d love to know.