Why I do NOT Dress Up in My Home Country​

We live in a generation where we are taught since childhood to study hard, get a great job, and be successful in life. Whereas success here defines by monetary value. However, those things are seen by the exterior of a person. Does he or she dress nice? Does he or she have the latest vehicle to commute? Does he or she eat at a snazzy restaurant every day? What is his or her status in society?

I am not pointing finger at all the people of the nation I was happened to be born in, but that’s the environment I was raised in. If you are not beautiful, you are 90% sure to not be put in a group. If you are not “rich”, you are unlikely to have friends. People determine your value by the way you dress. Of course, nobody likes slob looking person but what if he or she does not have the paper to purchase brand new clothes? Not everybody is privileged enough to own even a high-street fashion piece of fabrics, unfortunately. In modern society, you are judged by your grade as well. If you are not smart (which assumed by your grade in class), you are unworthy to be treated equally.

Here is the guide to be accepted in my environment I am currently in:

  • Do you have an attractive face?
  • Do you have a desirable body shape?
  • Do you have light skin? Or at least not too dark?
  • How well groomed are you? Meaning what brand of clothes do you own? Where do you shop?
  • What do you drive? Do you even have your own method of commuting?
  • What is your family social status?
  • What do your parents do? Aka how much does your parents make?
  • Which school do you go to?
  • What do you do at the weekend? Do you even have a life, bro?
  • What kinds of circle do you have for your social life?

Yes, this is real.  One good thing about this list is that you do not have to have it all, but it is preferable to do have it all. If you lack anything, choose one of the other to make it up for your unfortunate destiny. Although they will tell you to the face that they do not mind whatever material things you have or what you look like, they won’t judge and accept you for who you are. Yes, they follow through what they said, for a certain period of time before they get tired of you.

This is life. This is my experience. I was astonished when I left and went to a place where nobody knows my name and started over to freely being myself. I expressed myself with what I wore and released the inner real me to the world. The way I acted was entirely different from home. I was more brave and confident because nobody knows who I am so I painted the blank canvas myself. On the other hand, when I came back, I got back to the cage and shut down. I do whatever it takes to blend in. I tried my absolute best to stay in the corner and avoided the spotlight. I’d rather be invisible than standing out. I hate being labeled and judged. I know people treat me differently depending on what I chose to put out in the world, so I’d die just to be that average girl. Thus, I would not get attacked mentally and physically.

This is the story of the place I have grown up in.

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