The higher I vibrate; the higher the frequency, the more people I lose.
What is life? Why do you have to meet people, get to know them, be together for a few years, all just to drift away in the end?
Friend. Good friend. Close friend. Best friend. Those are just terminology used to define your relationship with someone. What is the real connection like? I don’t think I ever know what it is like to be connected someone anymore. Everything just seems way too fake. Yes, thank you for saying hi, but I don’t sense anything genuine from you. You are just a surveillance camera in my life. You are just curious about me. You just want juicy things to discuss with your so-called friends. There is no such thing as sincere intention in this world. Everyone just wants anything that will benefit them. If you expect someone to help you out without wanting something in return. you are nuts.
The older I am, the more I hate people. That’s right, I am fake from time to time. I smile at you and say hi because to me that is an obligation. You want respect from me, you have to respect me first. Disgusting, how nice you are before me and stab me in the back with millions and trillions of the butcher knives. I learn to love my solitude more and more as time passes to the point it is scary to me as well.
Although, why do I always go out of my way for some of you? When you ask, I will do my very best to be helpful to you? Being raised right is ridiculous. You give away too much of yourself to someone who is not worthy of you at all. You want to speak out your mind, but the after-drama is too much to handle. Therefore, you keep it all to yourself. You have been badly hurt by the love of your life, so you picked yourself up and started all over from point zero. When you are recovering? You’ve met someone that seems different, and there you go again. That person is in your prayer even though there is no interest. Human is crazy.
However, I think you all are worse. Monster in a human skin.
Even though I am here if you need something. Sucks.
“Loneliness can never make me lower my standard.
My peacefulness is always above the negativity that you might bring.
I will never let you in just because I am lonely.”
Thank you for being a place that I run to when I need to ramble.
Talk to you next Monday.
I am sorry. x