Anxiety is a thing and everybody has it. Be honest here, you get anxious at some point in your life. However, there are people out there who have it almost all the time. They can’t help it. If you don’t want to help them out, don’t make fun of them or tell them to get over it. It’s no different than us telling you to pass the exam when in reality you failed.
I won’t say so myself that I have anxiety personally. In these days and age, people just throw the term casually to the point no one takes it seriously anymore. Plus, I don’t think I have really bad anxiety either. I’ve taken notice of myself whenever I get anxious to understand the root of it and this is the reason why I wanted to write this blog out. Indeed, I am a shy and timid person. I used to enjoy standing out and I was an extrovert. Although as I grew older, society has shaped me into the person I am today. I do not enjoy the spotlight anymore. I am bad at making new friends and talking to people in general. Fortunately, by throwing myself out into the world again, I am getting better at socializing. It helped me a lot with my college life as it assists me in my presentation and social life. The start of my freshman year was rocky. My first presentation was horrible. I panicked midway. I did not enjoy the adrenaline rush one bit. I never ever had a terrible stage fright in my life until that one moment in university. I thought it was just me adjusting to a new place and during the time I was quite depressed for personal reasons. It took me quite some time to get over it and stopped blaming myself. Yet, things don’t end just there. I did very well during my second semester on another presentation. I was proud of myself and I assumed I got over my stage fright. Funny, how life is; It occurred again when I did another presentation for another class. It was the same thing happening all over again. I was trembling. I panicked. At that moment, I hated myself more than anything. I just wanted out. I did not understand why it happened. I thought I got over it for good. But nope, I don’t apparently. I had a good thought about it afterward. The only conclusion I came to term with is that I am intimidated by a group of people. No, they did not do anything. Some of them are people my ex-boyfriend warned me about. Before we parted way, he told me not to get involved with them because they are not good people. Therefore, I don’t. I’m not stupid enough to judge people solely because of rumors. I can say I can sense the vibe everybody has around them. I trust my instinct. If I detect negativity, I will walk away fast or try not to get too close and dig a hole for myself, in the long run, to fall into. It does not mean my school is a messed-up place. (In fact, I think I’ve found a good small circle.) It’s just me that I don’t vibe with everybody. My question here is that can some people be that intimidating and threatening without them doing anything to you? And, why? How is it like this? How can I get over my anxiety when it is this way?
I don’t like talking about myself and I apologize if today post is boring. I just need some intake about different types of anxiety before I assume I lost my mind. 🙂
Talk to you next Monday perhaps and I promise it will be a bright post as usual.
For now, I’m off.
Lots of love